Mothers Day Pain

Last night I sat in a circle beside a friend who said that she had

no hope


And as her body shook with anguish, I encircled her in my arms

protecting her heart

so that she would not be alone in that world

where she must return home to babies who cry for their father


And I don’t know how she drives Molly to school

and changes Seth’s diaper

and plays with Lucas in the sand


I don’t know how she mends the fences for the horses

and tends the chickens

and steps one foot in front of the other into another day without him



I see her grown thin

and I see her fade out

and I want to save her

as if she’s drowing



And my head throbs as I crawl into bed beside

my husband

and I wake drenched to the bone in sadness

like sorrow’s soup



And I can’t shake it

not with chai or a massage or work or the newspaper



Until we walk around the pond at dusk

into the magical mossy lichen covered forest

beside the still waters

and the pebbled bottom

and the tender rushing



And where upon crossing, i find red berries

and white blossoms

And i hope

And i pray

That maybe Joy has had a better day


because i took a turn



carrying her pain



Kelly Salasin, Mothers Day 2009


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